Connie's Secret by Anne Lovell

Author:Anne Lovell [Lovell, Anne]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: ePub Bud (www.epubbud.com)
Published: 2011-10-17T16:00:00+00:00

connies_secret_pages 2/7/08 4:11 PM Page 124

Anne Lovell

‘After the park, I can’t imagine going up to him and saying,

“I’m in the family way, Norman.” I can hear that melodious baritone voice of his say, in his very superior and condescend-ing way, “It’s nothing to do with me, Constance!”

‘Did I ever really know him? Can’t somebody help me?’

While serving customers in the shop the following day she longed to take one or two aside and ask for their advice, especially a kindly-looking older woman with a small grandchild by her side who bought one of her special steak and kidney pies.

She’d have gone to the church, but it preached of the virtues of chastity so it would be useless seeing a minister. That night she noted:

‘The gossips whisper at concerts and in the shop, belittling girls like me. Purity is essential for the unmarried female and I’ve failed! Women like me shoulder the blame. It’s the wife’s duty to have babies, not a girlfriend! I’m so scared I’ll be ridiculed, outlawed or silenced if anyone discovers. My mind is spinning so fast it makes me giddy. If only I could get some sleep.’

By early October, Connie realised that she could no longer procrastinate. The baby was beginning to feel more real and one morning she caught sight of a small bulge in her tummy as she eyed herself in a mirror in the hallway. At first she was horrified, viewing it as a tumour taking over her body, but that sensation was short-lived.

Four months into pregnancy, her feelings were more positive, bordering dangerously on love for the small sprig of life she was sheltering. Thoughts of termination disintegrated.

She would have this baby and give it all the love and security it would need to survive in an unfeeling world. She felt she had to find out how women achieved this goal without the help of the father or family.

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